why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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