If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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