Already got asked if we're dating
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
