yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
