It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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