watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize