I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it's like iHOP with fire
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize