1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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