I'm really into asian looking animals
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
