I am puke
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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