I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize