hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
