I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
