hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
