I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
