i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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