sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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