Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
