Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
