he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
