My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
