I love black thongs
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
