hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
