Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize