Taylor Swift is so right about you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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