The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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