Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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