It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
