I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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