Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
