Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
