Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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