You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
