:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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