I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
