Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
