also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
