So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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