hotel room ftw
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The air was thick with penises
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
