U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
