She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
