wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dignity is for republicans.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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