Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
