He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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