It's Friday. Sex?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
