did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
