...so i touched it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
