Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i barfeds in our rink
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
