Well douche your snatch and let's go!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
