dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
