He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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