No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize