See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My vagina just recognized that song.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
