Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This house was built for laser tag.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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