Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
