the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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