peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize