Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
