So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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