wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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