Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
