Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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