But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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