I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
whose parrot is this?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
