your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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