I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
