I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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