thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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