You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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