he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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