He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
