I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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