I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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